R13 BILLION, fancy water & a stolen guava in Stellenbosch🍷💧🍈

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For years, South Africans have imagined the “Stellenbosch Mafia” as a mysterious group of billionaires meeting behind closed doors, sipping R800 bottles of Cabernet and deciding what the rand should do on Monday morning.

Apparently, it’s a little less exciting than that.

Billionaire Christo Wiese says the so-called mafia might occasionally act like mafiosi, but they certainly don’t control South Africa. He says there is no secret group pulling the strings of the economy from somewhere underneath Dorp Street.

The alleged membership list has included names like Johann Rupert, Christo Wiese, Jannie Mouton, Koos Bekker and Whitey Basson. In reality, many of them simply studied at Stellenbosch, became extraordinarily successful and ended up moving in the same social and business circles.

Rupert has even joked that he can’t possibly belong to the Stellenbosch Mafia because he lives in Somerset West. 😂

So there you have it.

No underground headquarters.
No secret handshake.
No meeting every Tuesday at 7pm to set the petrol price.

Just a suspiciously high number of billionaires who know each other… in a town where somehow everyone knows everyone anyway. 🍷😂

We all know Stellenbosch gets its fair share of tourists wandering around with wine glasses, cameras and a sudden interest in 300-year-old oak trees.

But the numbers behind it are pretty staggering.

According to the latest Tourism Economic Impact Study, tourism generated around R13 BILLION for the Stellenbosch economy in 2025. 💰

More than 1.35 million overnight visitors came to Stellenbosch during the year, including 641,405 international visitors and 711,330 domestic visitors. International overnight tourism grew 12%, while domestic overnight tourism jumped 21%.

And here's perhaps the craziest number:

👉 Tourism contributes roughly R35 million to the Stellenbosch economy every single day.

The sector also supports an estimated 48,007 direct, indirect and induced jobs across the municipality.

Stellenbosch is also punching well above its weight nationally. The study estimates that approximately 40% of all international visitors to the Western Cape visit Stellenbosch. 🍇🌍

So next time you're stuck behind a sightseeing bus crawling down Dorp Street, perhaps don't get too irritated.

There's a decent chance the people inside are busy contributing to that R35 million. 😄

We've tasted the wine. 🍷

We've tasted the brandy.

We've tasted the olive oil.

And apparently Stellenbosch has now reached the inevitable next stage of civilisation:

We're tasting water. 💧😂

At The Library at Lanzerac, you'll find what is described as the world's first dedicated fine water tasting room, where water sommelier Nico Pieterse takes guests through six different waters, three still and three sparkling.

And this isn't a case of:

"Ja, this one tastes wetter."

We're talking minerality, filtration, aroma, mouthfeel and total dissolved solids. The waters come from places ranging from Armenian volcanic springs to ancient glaciers, and they're served in proper stemware at carefully controlled temperatures. 💧🥂

The current tasting experience is R350 per person, while some of the seriously fancy bottled waters can cost thousands of rands.

Which means we've finally reached a point in Stellenbosch where someone can swirl a glass, stare thoughtfully into the distance and say:

"Mmmm… I'm getting limestone, a slight magnesium finish and just a hint of municipal infrastructure."

And somehow... it's still cheaper than some wine tastings. 😂

Crime has officially taken a delicious turn in Stellenbosch.

News24 food writer Noluthando Ngcakani recently found herself at a Stellenbosch restaurant, where she spotted something apparently irresistible among the chef's stash:

A guava.

So she stole it. 😂

Not a bottle of Cabernet.

Not someone's handbag.

Not even an unattended e-bike.

One guava.

And apparently this wasn't just any guava. The encounter sparked something of a food love affair and a reminder that the humble fruit, once common in South African homes and gardens, has become surprisingly difficult to find fresh.

Which does raise an important question:

When did guavas become so exclusive that we're now stealing them from chefs?

At this rate, Stellenbosch restaurants will soon have security protocols:

"Good evening, sir. Table for two?"

"Yes please."

"Wonderful. And we'll just need to check your pockets for guavas on the way out." 🍈👀

Between Stellenbosch's fine-water sommeliers and now underground guava activity, we're beginning to suspect the wine was actually the normal part of this town.

I recently listened to Adrian Gore on the High Performance Podcast, where he shared an idea that has stuck with me:

We think we have far more time than we actually do.

Not because we're necessarily going to die tomorrow. But because the older we get, the faster life seems to move.

Think about it.

Christmas used to take forever to arrive. Now it feels like you pack the decorations away and someone is putting them up again.

Years become quicker. Children grow up. Parents get older. Friends move away. And all those things we've been saying we'll do one day quietly remain undone.

We live as though there's an enormous supply of Mondays ahead of us.

There isn't.

So perhaps the question this week isn't "What do I still want to achieve?"

Maybe it's:

If my time is much shorter than I think, am I spending enough of it on what actually matters?

Take the trip.

Phone your parents.

Play on the floor with your children.

Have the long lunch.

Start the thing you've been talking about starting.

Forgive someone.

Say what needs to be said.

Because one day you'll discover that "someday" had an expiry date.

Don't panic about how little time you have left. Let it remind you to properly use the time you have now. ❤️

It’s looking like a pretty decent winter week in Stellenbosch. A cloudy start, but things improve as the week goes on, with very little rain expected after Monday.

🌥️ Monday: 19°C / 12°C
Cloudy for much of the day with a chance of a light shower. Keep the jacket nearby.

🌤️ Tuesday: 18°C / 10°C
Bright spells breaking through the clouds. Mostly dry and a little crisper overnight.

⛅ Wednesday: 18°C / 10°C
Cloudy early, becoming brighter during the day. Dry weather expected.

🌥️ Thursday: 19°C / 8°C
Mostly cloudy and possibly a little breezy in the afternoon. A proper chilly morning, though.

🌤️ Friday: 20°C / 10°C
The pick of the working week. Partly sunny, mild and dry. A good Stellenbosch winter Friday.

☔ Rain watch: Monday carries the main chance of a shower. Tuesday through Friday currently looks largely dry, with multiple forecasts showing little to no measurable rain.

As always, thanks for reading. If you spot something in town worth knowing, reply and tell us. Half the best Stellenbosch stories begin that way.

See you around town,
Stellenbosch Brief

If you know someone in Stellenbosch who would appreciate this, feel free to forward it to them. The right readers tend to find each other.