The teacher called. This is awkward... 😂

Someone has launched a World Winery Map covering more than 104,000 wineries across 90 countries. Finally, a map that understands our priorities.

It lets you find nearby wineries and get directions to the estate. Particularly useful in Stellenbosch, where “we’re going for a quick drive” can somehow turn into six bottles of Chardonnay and a cheese board.

For the serious wine enthusiasts, it also includes vineyard data such as elevation, soil, rainfall and temperature. So the next time someone tells you they’re picking up “minerality”, you can check whether they’ve studied the soil or simply swallowed some gravel.

There’s a serious purpose too: tracking how climate change is affecting vineyards and where different grapes can thrive.

But for the rest of us, it’s a wonderful opportunity to stare at vineyards around the world while avoiding the spreadsheet we’re actually supposed to be working on.

Explore the World Winery Map. For research purposes, obviously.

Cape Town Tourism and Visit Stellenbosch have signed a joint marketing agreement to encourage visitors to explore both destinations and stay longer.

Quite sensible, really. Come for Table Mountain. Stay because you’ve booked three wine tastings and are no longer qualified to operate a rental car.

The partnership will include shared itineraries, digital campaigns and competitions, with a focus on local holidaymakers and attracting visitors throughout the year.

For Stellenbosch, the real opportunity is turning “we popped in for lunch” into “we’re staying another two nights”.

That could mean more bookings for guesthouses, more tables filled at restaurants and more customers browsing local shops. Tourism spending reaches well beyond the person pouring the Sauvignon Blanc.

Of course, signing an agreement is the easy bit. The test will be whether it translates into actual bookings, especially during the quieter months.

But getting visitors to see Cape Town and Stellenbosch as one holiday makes sense.

They can offer the sea views. We’ll offer the exceptionally convincing reasons to miss your flight.

Many of us were born before Google. If you wanted to know something, you asked your dad. He gave you an answer with enormous confidence, and you carried that incorrect information around for the next 25 years.

Otherwise, you consulted the Encyclopaedia Britannica. Thirty enormous books in the lounge explaining everything except how your parents were still paying them off.

Now we’re heading towards AI that orders things before you even know you need them.

“You’re running low on milk, Shaun. I’ve ordered some.”

Lovely. But can you check whether we’re actually running low, or whether my wife has put it on a different shelf and I’ve declared it missing?

In Stellenbosch, this could get dangerous.

“I noticed increased stress levels, so I’ve booked you a wine tasting.”

That’s thoughtful.

“I’ve also ordered six bottles, a linen shirt and a R280 sourdough bread-making workshop.”

Please stop helping.

We used to phone a restaurant and ask for a table. Soon an AI will speak to another AI to arrange dinner while two actual humans sit next to each other scrolling through videos of strangers arranging dinner.

And South Africa will still find a way to humble the technology.

Your AI has analysed your dietary needs, compared prices, ordered groceries and tracked the delivery to within half a metre.

Then your phone rings.

“Boss. I’m at the gate.”

“Which gate?”

“The gate.”

Artificial intelligence. South African directions. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Honestly, I don’t need technology to predict my next purchase. I need it to find the scissors, explain which remote works the TV, and tell me why there are 14 Tupperware lids and only three containers.

Solve that, Silicon Valley. Then we’ll talk.

The Winelands already takes wine very seriously. Now we have someone qualified to judge the bread basket too.

Ricardo Slawers, head baker at La Motte in Franschhoek, has become Africa’s first bread sommelier, earning the title at Germany’s National Bakers Academy.

Yes, a bread sommelier. While the rest of us assess bread using the sophisticated criteria of “still soft” and “does that green bit come off?”, Ricardo has studied sensory analysis, bread culture and food pairing.

Imagine taking him to a braai.

“I’m picking up a beautifully developed crust and delicate fermentation aromas.”

“Thanks, Ricardo. It’s a garlic roll from Checkers. I nearly cremated it.”

The best part? His thesis was on mosbolletjies. Our beloved Cape bread went to Germany and got academic recognition. Somewhere, an ouma is saying, “I could’ve told them it was good.”

Ricardo started his working life as a carpenter before finding his way into baking. From working with wood to mastering dough, that’s quite a career rise. Sorry. Had to.

Jokes aside, this is a wonderful achievement built on years of learning and dedication to a craft.

Congratulations, Ricardo. We’ll think of you next time we eat a slice standing over the sink.

Although we suspect the recommended pairing isn’t cold leftover coffee.

Nothing tests a parent quite like the words: “Please help your child build a model for Monday.”

“Help” starts with supervision. Twenty minutes later, your child is watching cartoons while you’re at the kitchen table engineering a windmill out of a cereal box and the last remaining scraps of your dignity.

By Sunday evening, you’ve made three trips to PNA, spent R380 and discovered that a glue gun can attach everything except the thing you’re holding.

Your child contributes one important question.

“Why does it look like that?”

Because Daddy studied business, James. Not structural engineering.

Then the teacher asks you to come in for a meeting.

She closes the door gently.

“We’ve noticed a few things in the projects. Difficulty following instructions. Some challenges with planning. We think your child might benefit from a learning assessment.”

You look down at the model on her desk.

The roof is collapsing. The labels are backwards. There’s a suspicious amount of Prestik holding up something that was supposed to demonstrate renewable energy.

You clear your throat.

“Before we go any further… that was me.”

Silence.

“He wanted to fix it, but I told him we didn’t have time.”

The teacher slowly puts down her pen.

For years, you’ve worried about whether your child is keeping up at school. Turns out they’ve been carrying you academically.

The next project will be entirely their own work.

Not because you’re against helping.

Because you can’t afford another parent-teacher meeting about your development.

Do you ever stop and wonder why we’re here?

Zoom out far enough and everything we know fits onto one tiny planet. Every person we’ve loved. Every argument we’ve had. Every deadline that felt like the end of the world. All of it on a speck in a universe so vast we struggle to imagine it.

It’s humbling to think how much of our brief time here we spend trying to look important.

We may never know exactly why we’re here. But we can choose how we spend the time: being kinder, staying curious, loving our people and noticing the ordinary things we’ll one day wish we could experience again.

We are small. The chance to be here is enormous.

🌧️ Friday, 2 October: Morning rain, then cloudy. 13–20°C

🌤️ Saturday, 3 October: Partly sunny, breezy and pleasant. 13–22°C

⛅ Sunday, 4 October: Mostly cloudy but warming up nicely. 14–28°C

☀️ Monday, 5 October: Plenty of sunshine and a lovely warm day. 13–25°C

🌤️ Tuesday, 6 October: Cooler, with a mix of sunshine and clouds. 11–18°C.

Friday waters the garden. Sunday gets the braai going. Tuesday reminds you not to pack away your jersey just yet.

As always, thanks for reading. If you spot something in town worth knowing, reply and tell us. Half the best Stellenbosch stories begin that way.

See you around town,
Stellenbosch Brief

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